Up the Yin-Yang With Yianni
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Personnel
There are plenty of people responsible for Purple Puke Music (PPM). Some you know, some you don’t, and the rest have filed cease-and-desist orders against us. So we won’t be mentioning them.
But of the individuals who don’t seem to mind the association, they are a varied lot (and one of them isn’t even human). While we’re certainly not listing each and every soul who has had a hand in a PPM recording session, the folks described herein have donated various amounts of time and energy (not to mention money) to the PPM cause. Bless their hearts...
And so we give you — in alphabetical order, according to everyone’s first name — the PPM backbone, both past and present:
Yianni Plesspray
From regions unknown, Yianni is a world-reknowned musician, producer, and Svengali of the highest order. After singlehandedly spearheading the New York City go-go movement of the late ’70s, Yianni spent the following decade producing albums for such musical luminaries as GG Alinn, Kajagoogoo, and Pat Boone during his “metal” period.
Look for Mr. Plesspray’s magical touch to appear on forthcoming releases from Abattoir Buggery and the Lazy Bastards.
Charlie Woods
Man’s best friend can also be musician’s beat machine.
While Charlie (who is a dog, by the way) never really made it as a canine metronome, his barking skills did add an interesting layer to many Purple Puke Music compositions. Such tunes include Abattoir Buggery’s first cover song, “Wonderwall,” as well as the sessions recorded at the famous Shrill Building (aka la Maison du Mixe et Merde in East Flushing, N.Y.) with one of Charlie’s closest relatives, Walter Woods.
Clara Elizabeth Lengyel-Kremenic
Meeko. Lengy. One-half of Da Evil Ones.
Clara is living proof that no matter how inane, idiotic, or iffy a movement, set of religious beliefs, or independent record label can be, it can also grow. Such is the case with Clara and Purple Puke Music (PPM).
Despite her vast knowledge of the human body and all its faults and smells, Clara hooked up with PPM and the label did nothing less than thrive. From ambitious songwriting to measurable percussive skill to actual singing, Clara possesses the talents of a worthy member of the PPM family. And we mean that, even though Clara broke Chris’ heart forever by marrying Ian.
But that’s OK; she can’t be with him every waking moment...
Christopher Walter Woods
Here’s an early-day bio of Chris (written by Ian), taken from the liner notes to Abattoir Buggery’s 1996 release, The Dickeasy EP, and updated accordingly:
One of the two founding members of Abattoir Buggery (Ab), Chris has been in the Purple Puke Music (PPM) stable from the very beginning. After several failed attempts at starting an East Flushing chapter of NAMBLA, Chris turned to music, taking up the guitar and pretty much anything he could bang on. Chris recorded (solo!) the groundbreaking PPM debut, The F.d. Demo, completely flooring the other guys in the band and thus creating an entirely new sonic milieu. Following his initial work with Föetal Demise, Chris worked with both incarnations of Pudtug, laying down yet even more twisted shit.
Since cofounding Ab, he has become a multi-instrumentalist, adding drums, the accordion, and anything else he can steal from his father to his repertoire. He has also experimented with synthesizers (first with a Pro-One [that, sadly, has since been sold], then a Casio, then another Pro-One [also sold]) in the hopes of becoming the third Chemical Brother.
Chris’ other distinguishing marks include poor eyesight, a tendency to slam his head into the ceiling at Root Cellar Studios, and a penis named Steve.
Ian Joseph Kremenic
Here’s an early-day bio of Ian (written by Chris), taken from the liner notes to Abattoir Buggery’s 1996 release, The Dickeasy EP, and updated accordingly:
As one of the two founding members of Abattoir Buggery, Ian has had a long and illustrious career with them sick mothers at Purple Puke Music. He started his tenure (as yet another founding member) in the seminal East Flushing, N.Y., art-rock punk band Föetal Demise (F.d.). In between gigs with F.d., Ian had brief stints with two other New York-based groups — the hardcore outfit Acid Vomit From Hell and white-rap pioneers the Cavity Creeps. Somewhere around the time of his involvement with the East Flushing pop group Pudtug, Too!, Ian found time to lay down one-off singles with Toasted and Toasted<2 (hm, something odd about this trend...). But his most recent recording endeavor is with Ab.
Initially a keyboardist, Ian has focused mainly on bass, specifically the Chapman Stick, since starting Ab. But of course, he didn’t stop there. On Ab’s debut disk, The Dickeasy EP, you can hear Ian playing not only the Stick but also numerous other instruments, including the triangle, chicken shakes, and melodica (generously loaned to the band by Walter Woods). In addition to laying the musical foundation for Ab’s songs, Ian is an accomplished lyricist as well; some of his more noted compositions include “Smitty & Armando,” “Nazi Doctor Conference,” and “Hamster Ball” — all three of which, incidentially, are scheduled to appear on Ab’s forthcoming effort Simply, Karl, due out one of these damn days.
Kenneth Edward Riedl
Who is Toeboy? Ken is Toeboy.
If the picture below doesn’t explain it all (whenever whomever has the goddamn photo sends it in so that it can be posted here), then you, my friend, are in need of a ball-peen cranial massage.
As a matter of fact, Ken is all-too-infrequently considered to be the nutcakeum emertius of Purple Puke Music. You see, Ken was throwing down dope rhymes way before any of us learned how to spit up into the air and catch it in our mouths on the way down. Back in the day, Ken brilliantly lampooned Queen (“Another One Goes to Church”), made fun of nuns (“The Sister Alban Show”), and mastered the art of epic story-telling with the powerful yarn that spoke of the perils of baking (“Reeee Rowwww”).
All right, that last one is only half true. But take a read of this:
- Another One Goes to Church
-
- riding through the schoolyard
- and you see an open door
- it’s getting pretty late now
- so you wonder what it’s for
- then out pops a man in a black suit and says,
- “sin no more!”
- chorus:
- another one goes to church
- another one goes to church
- and another one sins
- and another one sins
- another one goes to church
- hey, it’s gonna get you too
- another one goes to church!
- sitting through a sermon
- that’s 24 hours long
- [lyrics missing]
- [lyrics missing]
- [lyrics missing]
- “give, you can’t go wrong!”
- (chorus)
- riding through the schoolyard
Need we say more?
Of course we do: Ken can sing a nasty snippet. Ken can stutter a wicked jazz snare. Ken can improv the most inspired idiocy. And Ken is Toeboy, like no one else is...
Lynne Ann Woods
Who, would you say, was the fourth wheel of the DeSoto-like rise to popularity for the renowned indie label Purple Puke Music (PPM)? Why, Lynne, of course.
Back in the day when homosexuality ran rampant amongst the PPM hierarchy, one woman — yes, just one — maintained such an aura of absolute fear and loathing that the fellows responsible thus far for the poisoning of the world’s ears decided it was high time to knock off all the buggery and get down to business. What are we talking about? We have no idea. Let’s try again.
Ian, Chris, and Ed were somehow amusing enough — or funny-looking enough — for Lynne Ann Woods (nee Kucera) to maintain some level of interest in hanging out with them. All by herself, too. Yeah, there were other women, but they always turned out to be such blonde, dysfunctional bitches (not including Clara, of course!) — it isn’t worth the effort to talk about it. So, here’s Lynne, all by herself, hanging out with these three dopey wankers who’re writing songs about eating cats and dogs, masculine masturbation, and taking a shit.
Now, if you were a girl, would you be caught dead with these guys? Certainly not. Except, naturally, if you were Lynne. You see, for whatever demented reason, Lynne not only laughed at some of the PPM product, but she also actually designed some herself. Lynne (who is married to Chris, by the way) went ballistic — T-shirts, lyrics, album covers... Lynne even sang lead on Abattoir Buggery’s version of “Wonderwall.”
Needless to say, Lynne can rock out with the best of ’em. Who the best of ’em are exactly, we haven’t a clue.
Prof. Mastrato
The professor is currently tucked away somewhere in the Andes conferring with his attorneys regarding the particulars of his bio. Stay tuned.
Matthew Thomas Woods
Not many people know this, but Matt was indeed an important fixture during the recording of the one and only Pudtug album, March of the Wooden Rhino Weenie (since his mug does not appear anywhere on the album). Granted, all he did was sit in front of Ed’s Mac and play Crystal Quest but, well, he was there and you can hear him in the background. Go, Matt.
Now that that’s out of the way — lawyers representing the estate of a one Matthew Thomas Woods, are we happy now? Enough with the litigation, please — we can expound on the musical contributions of Matt, the brother of Chris, son of Walter, and less-hairy companion of Charlie.
The younger Woods brother has from time to time sat in on some of Purple Puke Music’s (PPM) recording sessions to lay down some buggin’ vocal tracks. Apart from the forgiveable “Ernie” fixation throughout Pudtug, Too’s Spiro Agnew, Ed!, Matt has loaned his unique growl to a number of PPM ditties. Namely, co-lead vox on “Kill a Mime” and... uh... hm, maybe that’s it? Let’s think for a moment...
Nope, that just about does it. Well then, as mentioned above... Go, Matt!
Elisa Marie Riedl
A nonconformist to the nonconformists?
Elisa may be the only sane and rational member of the Purple Puke Music clan, but that certainly hasn’t stopped her from contributing to the cause. Mrs. Riedl (nee Ippolito) has sat in on a number of sessions, from way back in the day at both Root Cellar Studios and La Maison du Mixe et Merde in East Flushing, N.Y.
Waxing specifically, you can hear Elisa’s rousing kick-start of a sneeze at the intro to “Spork,” which pretty much scared the hell out of the performers, or maybe just made them laugh. And although it’s hard to pick her out, Elisa sang background vocals on the not-likely-to-be-released-anytime-soon version of “Temple of the Yoo-Hoo Gods.” Lastly, Elisa had a hand in bashing out some percussive insanity during one of the many sweaty takes of “Racket-Ridden Plank Spanker” — no small task, mind you, if you’ve ever heard the song.
Ergo, Elisa’s very special indeed, especially because she’s Ed’s wife.
Herr Doktor
He is Abattoir Buggery’s manager. He sells drugs (all right, he’s a pharmacist). He is a close associate of the one they call “Mr. Blob.” He knows Mr. Mahalo. He has three kids — two girls and one boy. He is the one and only “WhoDunIt?” He is the monkey on They Might Be Giants’ John Flansburgh’s back. He is Hannibal. He is Chief. He is Alien. He is... Herr Doktor.
Mysterious, ain’t it?
Edward Jacob Riedl
Ed is the third most prolific slut in the Purple Puke Music (PPM) bordello. As one of the three founding members of Föetal Demise, Ed has contributed to the PPM cause in many, many ways.
First, the aforementioned blood-oath relationship with F.d.; second, his bowels-shattering alliance with fellow Pudtug bandmate Husky, which resulted in the classic March of the Wooden Rhino Weenie; and third, his very own insanity-soaked solo album, The Ed Album.
Ed’s specialty has been the bass, specifically, a snow-white (which has now been turned a certain shade of pink) Harmony four-string with an ass-kickin’ Gorilla amp that poses as Ed’s third Sasquatch-sized foot. Musky’s also well-known for penning some of F.d.’s (as well as Pudtug’s) more bizarre songs. “Nugrape,” “A Night With Grandma’s Dentures,” and the F.d. live-show staple “Fat Slob” are all by-products of Ed’s head. These songs, coupled with Ed’s penchant for letting all kinds of truly fucked-up noises escape from his mouth, are hallmarks of the PPM sound.
Walter William Woods
Walter is, by far and away, the only performer found on a Purple Puke Music (PPM) release with actual chops, distinct talent, and the overwhelming ability to know exactly what music is supposed to sound like. Why is this? Because he knows how to play not only the accordion but also the melodica.
Plus, he’s Chris and Matt’s biological father, despite his constant claims of blackmail.
With a pair of appearances on the Abattoir Buggery potpourri platter There’s a French Fry Stuck in My Beard, Walter blows away everyone else on every other tune found within the PPM songbook.
Hopefully, Walter will agree to be featured on many other future PPM projects.